Looking back into the Cul-De-Sac

I wrote two poems on Tuesday, but I’m just going to share one with you today. You might be familiar with the feeling it describes if you had siblings growing up. Or if you can still remember the staircase of your childhood home.

 

Now in new roams, and wearing down
different boards, slowly
growing up;

Although many years since the crashes sounded out,
the footprints still echo, still the barefoot stamping
battles on, how in fights and squabbles our feet
would shoot us up the staircase, blazing in a baby rage
soon abandoned after the door slams.

But now, our feet, grown too big
for steep terrace steps and charging around;

with crooked nostalgia, in reply to my remembering
tiny loud feet stomp on in my sleep.

What do you think? For me it’s about childhood feeling far away, and family being far away, and how when you choose to remember so many times, you’re slightly changing the memory each time, and you can feel it. It’s also about marrying the striking difference of how things were, with how they are now, to accept how things are going to be from now on.

I don’t spend all my time in melancholy wonderings, I promise. Finding myself with the time and space to reflect like this after some big life changes is really a blessing. Getting to share it and talk about it with you, even more so!

As always, would love to hear your thoughts and reflections on the poem and what it conjures for you.

Have a good afternoon, and be lovely.

Painting: Pears

Pears.jpg

Like I mentioned in my initial post, I paint in gouache. It’s like watercolour, but more pigmented, so it gives more vibrancy and the painter has more control over how opaque it is.

I usually get some painting or sketching done everyday, as one of my ‘disciplines’. I’m not very good with the sketching but I do it to help the painting. A good painting idea can easily die at the sketching stage without the right level of ability. (I’m learning that the hard way!)

So, above is the most recent piece in my pad, a stylised study of some pears. Later today they will be stewed to accompany porridge in the morning. Yum!

I first started painting almost a year ago, and only used it in a large, thick papered book as an art journal. Only in the last few months have I been working to improve my skills and create pieces.

These green guys are in the same style as the oranges in my header image. I painted those last week. My husband prefers the pears, but here are the oranges:

SLO.jpg

I enjoy this style, and I’m wondering what other subjects it could lend itself to. I’ve done a few of mountains in a more ‘bare’ style, but similarly using the amorphous outlined shapes to exaggerate the highlights and shadows for more drama.

I am benefitting hugely from practising the focus needed to paint something that’s in front of you, and from the satisfaction of liking what you see on the page when it’s done! I’d love to hear what you think of these pieces. It’s taking a fair amount of brave to share them.

Have a blessed week.

Sympathetic Day

As I mentioned in my first post, I complete a poem every Friday and Tuesday. I think realistically I’ll aim to put one poem a week onto here. Below is yesterday’s. Please leave me comments if you have feedback or questions. It’d be greatly appreciated! I’d love to know what you think. I hope in the coming days to begin creating illustrations for some of my poems.

If you are suitably placed, please try to read poetry out loud, it’s almost always better that way. Read it twice if you can. I do, because I need to train my brain to accept that I can’t take everything in at once, nor do I get a proper impression of what the writer intends with just the one quick read. They weren’t rushing, so I don’t want to! I’m trying to enjoy being slow, and I’m finding patience very rewarding.

 

Sympathetic Day

 

Dull morning watches
my hand slowly lower
into a tin of paint:

the slimy envelope,
sucking in my digits,
returning them alien, helpless,
coated in gloss.

Aghast, embarrassed noon watches
emulsion in fat balls drip,
sloppily slapping onto the door, staining
table, kettle, tap – sticky
prints of attempted activity –

Four o’clock holds me still, anxious
I make no more mayhem.

Dusk patiently eyes the crust,
tightening and cracking
in the creases of my palm.

An unwatched sunset aches and fades,
night grieves the died day,
lost to a fabricated mess.

 

Thank you. Now, enjoy this:

 

And be kind.

The Beginning

IMG_20150803_151113

(taken in the Ben Youssef Madrasa in Marrakech on honeymoon)

I’m Suky. I’m here because after a series of big changes in my life I had a question; “What should I do?”, and I answered it with the question “What can I not do?”. I’ve got a theory that I can’t stop thinking, or making things.

The purpose for starting this blog is to add clarity and value to a time of life where it can be hard to make it so, and keep it so.

I’ve loved reading blogs for a long time, and have always gained knowledge and insight from reading other people’s reflections on their experiences. I hope and wonder if me doing the same would do that for anyone out there~

I want to encourage focus in my life, on a few areas specifically:

  • Writing: I am writing two poems a week (at least, those are my ‘scheduled’ ones)
  • Mental health; I want to invest time for reflection and processing, as I’m going through a period of depression. I also want to keep fostering my interests whilst it’s harder for me to keep going with them
  • Art/crafts: I make lace, sew, I do a little crochet, and I paint. I’m working on my sketching skills to help with me my painting, too. I work in gouache.

I’m sure the list goes on. My point is, I need to craft a space for myself, and a little bit of pressure to fill it. I hope to connect with others through this, too. So please, talk to me, challenge me, ask me stuff.

As I contemplated starting this blog, I was questioning what I had to ‘give’, and my conclusion is that my experiences in life have lead to me having a very varied range of knowledge and interests, but no specialism. (As of yet – I’m still young!) My experiences are the key thing giving me trouble lately, and so I’d like to work them out and celebrate them here in all the ways my quirks manifest. I’d really like to provide any readers with something to think about, some encouragement to keep them going as I try to keep me going.

I’m going to talk about what I’m reading, listening to, making (in all the senses) in the hope that you the reader can take some of it for yourself.

Please bear with me as I find my feet.

And so, I’ll end my beginning here with a hopefully not too depressing song that I’m listening to while I write:

Enjoy. Be lovely.